TOUGH TIMES...

I have not written a blog in a while and it's partly because of being on outreach for seven weeks but partly because the last season has been a challenging season for me. During my DTS I was at such an amazing place with Jesus and had grown so much and had gone deeper in intimacy with God. And I was so excited to go on outreach and put into practice everything that I had learned and knew and to just love on the people. What actually happened was very different than I expected though. I didn't expect the intense spiritual attack we would be under while in Vanuatu, pretty quick after being in the bush I realized that I had come under something and was not myself. So first having to deal with the spiritual climate was very difficult and something our team had to be very vigilant about. We even had an encounter with witch doctors in the area and had to do a lot of intercession and worship to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and not on our situation. I am so thankful God was so faithful to us and no matter what circumstance we were in He was with us and protected us. Next we dealt with a ton of sickness on our team, we had stomach flus, dengue fever, parasites, and a herniated disk on our team. So that was another battle we faced, but once again I am thankful God protected us and we actually saw some miracles in this area. But having our team so sick was definitely a difficulty I specifically faced. All of this made me question the call on my life. Why was this so hard? Why was I miserable? If I'm called to missions shouldn't this be easy? Lots of doubt filled my thoughts during outreach. But no matter what I was feeling, God was good to me and He showed up for me and my team every time. When we got back from Vanuatu a majority of the heaviness I had been carrying plus the parasite were gone which was amazing and I felt so great! I felt blessed for my time and even though I still wasn't sure why it had been so challenging I knew that I had learned so much and had so many great experiences and met such amazing people. God really had to walk me through doubt on my calling and show me that some of what I went through was due to putting my trust in myself and my own abilities and not in Him, and how even though I am called to missions it isn't always going to be easy. In fact He can promise that it's going to be uncomfortable, but that it was worth every minute. And now looking back a few months later it is so true, the lives we were able to touch, the medical care we were able to perform, the things I learned were worth every sickness or discomfort I experienced. Because I don't answer the call to go out into the world to tell others about Jesus to be comfortable and to have a nice time. I answer the call and say yes to Him because there are millions out there living without knowing Jesus died for them, there are millions living in worse condition than I can imagine and I am saying yes so that I can hopefully reach them and give them hope for a future and introduce them to Him. So yes I had a really difficult season on outreach and that's ok. I have clarity now on what it was for and what that means for my future. I trust Him with everything. And today on resurrection Sunday, I say YES to whatever He has for me, and wherever He wants me to go.