Leaving. Moving away. I don’t know when I’m coming back. Words I’ve had to say a lot lately. I knew in my head that this would be a difficult season. This in-between-time, waiting for what God had called me to, my preparatory time. I wouldn’t trade it for anything because I know it is critical for me to go through this time to be ready for the next season. But as much as I might need it, I didn’t quite anticipate what it would be like —this constant pull of being excited for the future, but feeling loss for all that you are leaving.
I have really tried not to think about the leaving part of my upcoming adventure; I’m not quite ready to handle it emotionally. Unfortunately, I can’t keep pushing off the inevitable; I need to process and start to prepare for my departure.
I’ve always told the Lord that I would go anywhere and do anything He wanted, but knew that leaving would be the hardest part for me. My family, church family, friends, saying goodbye for who knows how long, this is the sacrifice for me, this is my cross to carry. Even though it isn’t easy, I will gladly do it for the things God has called me to do. I will do it for the hurting world to know Jesus. I am so excited to start on my adventure and grow closer to God and be able to share him with others. These next 6 months will be a challenge for me though, in the waiting. One foot here at home, one foot around the world.
I am so blessed to have such supportive people in my life that help me through this journey. I’m thankful I have such an amazing life, family, church, and friends. If I didn’t have such wonderful people, it would be easier to go, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I am so grateful.